It was 2 weeks back when I first saw her in office. She looked drop-dead gorgeous in a peacock blue salwar. That charming smile on that endearing face, spotless lest for a cute little mole on the chin. The flowy hair, those big bright eyes, the height, the poise, she seemed to have come out of a romantic hindi song. You had to be either married, committed, gay or dead inside, to not get attracted to her.
I heard that she had come from Pune for an assignment and would be here for at-least 3 months. Soon I got to know that she has this rich, just-returned-from-America boyfriend. I knew I didn’t have a chance but I couldn’t control a part of me which desperately wanted to talk to her, look at her, be with her.
We met near the water cooler one day and started talking. I remember how stupid I sounded with all my weird small talk. But she seemed to like it. Maybe she noticed how I was trying hard to pull myself from staring right into her eyes. Maybe she found it cute how my lips exactly followed hers every time she smiled. And she was so sweet to talk to too. We started having small conversations regularly. Those 5 minutes with her would make my day.
Yesterday, I thought of asking her out for coffee. But when I reached office I got to know that she will be going back to Pune the next day as her project had been shifted there. I was heartbroken. I realized that today was probably the last time I would be seeing her. We had barely become friends enough so that she will make an effort to meet me outside office and there was wafer thin possibility that we will chance upon each other again. So no more of that face, that smile, that voice, that charm.
I went to her cubicle later in the day. She was in the wishing-everybody-goodbye mode. I didn’t want to give away too much, so I acted all professional, inquiring about her flight and stuff, barely managing to speak due to that lump which was forming in my throat. As a desperate attempt I asked if she would have dinner with me. She smiled and said she would have loved to but then she had a lot of packing to do before the early-morning flight the next day. So, I shook her hands, wished her the best in life and got out of there before turning to have one last look at her; one that will remain etched in my memory.
I always knew, it was not destined to be but you cannot help your heart, can you? Filled with despair and regret, I don’t know when I finally slept. But she came back in my dreams, donning that beautiful smile. She was waving good-bye and as I ran towards her, she kept going farther away. But I managed to hold her hand with this large leap. This is when she stopped and put two of her fingers at the corners of my lips, stretched it broad to form a smile and then vanished.
Today when I woke up I was feeling much better. I have always believed that dreams carry messages and the one I saw last night clearly meant that rather than being sad that something has passed, I should be happy that it happened.
It’s amazing how a person can briefly come into your life and make it more fulfilling. All you have to do is keep your doors open. It pays off to wear your heart on your sleeves. There is this curious thing about hearts anyways, you feel great every time you lose it!
The Window Seat 